99% of Self-Help Literature Misses This Fundamental Reality On Achieving Your Dream Life

If You Truly Understand This Principle, You Can Achieve Anything You Want!

Support my writing

Join Medium.com as a member through the link below.


Peace and God bless.

Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash

How many times have we heard this line?

Do what you love — find your passion, and you will never work a day again.

Just offhand, without rereading, I can count at least ten sources, online and offline, where I’ve read this catchphrase.

It makes a point.

But it misses the crux of the issue.

If everyone in the world did what they liked the most, we’d have a lot of very fat people sitting around and binge-watching TV (Game of Thrones, anyone?) and eating Swiss chocolate and other sweet stuff for every meal.

It is actually scary that some rich parents actually do that to their kids!

Everyone has things they love to do.

Everyone feels good about certain things (sex is a good example).

But if you live your life based around your feelings — if you find your passion only while enjoying yourself — you will very quickly degenerate into a self-destructive life.

Photo by Food Photographer | Jennifer Pallian on Unsplash

Every one has a calling.

Its a popular belief that when you find your true calling, you will live your life on a level ‘higher than anything you knew before’.

Yes, that can happen.

But Not from acting on feelings.


Our feelings depend upon chemicals in our brains.

As a consequence, they ebb and flow according to the whims of your emotions.

You cannot depend upon your emotions to rule your life.

Love what you do is a much subtler concept.

This is one of the reasons so many marriages fail.

When people no longer feel the rush of being married, they think their ‘love’ is over and they should move on.

But that’s the point where it actually starts!

Marriage starts when you take a conscious decision to love your spouse.

Of course, if abused, if required, stay away! Far away!

If you have no criminal complaint against your spouse —

Make a conscious, active decision to honor your marriage vows.

If you want to live your life meaningfully—

Center your life around principles and decisions.

Not feelings or emotions.


Photo by Nick Fewings on UnsplashPhoto by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Living these days can seem like traversing this flyover maze without knowing wherethe roads will lead you.

Where you will finally end up.

Too many decisions.

Too many emotions.

Too much stress.

So much to do.

So little time.

No navigation.

Imagine traveling from one place to another without a Maps app or without knowing the way.

Yet this is how the majority of people live their lives!

They wander around, not knowing where to go, what to do, hoping they’ll be all right at the end.

They live by the whimsical feelings of their mind, at that instant.

We need to center our lives differently.

Goals need to be built on more than emotions.

Positive Principles

High-quality principles and high-quality long-term goals lead to high-quality lives.

“Hold fast to discipline, never let her go, never lose her, she is your life.”

Choose your principles with utmost care.

Choose your goals after true discernment.

Build your life on the essential principles that, from ancient times, have been treasured, valued, and held on to.

And —

If you want to build something that matters out of your life, be prepared to struggle.

Be prepared to pay the price.

No pain, no gain.

Ayodeji Awosika, Tim Denning, Darious Foroux, so many awesome writers speak about the grind.

Be prepared to work hard — really work hard.

But here comes a little bit of magic:

Choose to Love What You Have To Do!

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

Choose to love.

We are responsible when we choose our response to a stimulus.

Responsible — the ability to choose your response to the world around you.

Whatever you do — from building rockets to colonize Mars to washing toilets — see it as an act of service.

You can’t always love what you do — but you can always choose to love whatever you’re doing.

This is the entire essence of Robin Sharma’s book, The Leader Who Had No Title.

Realize that even the smallest of actions can be done as a service.

Even a toilet cleaner can choose to realize that he/she keeps the children in the school or the staff in the office free from terrible diseases.

Nelson Mandela is an interesting case — to say the very least.

Imprisoned for 27 years of his life, he was tortured multiple times a week. For 27 years.

Finally he emerged victorious and free— and what did he do to his tormentors? Who did unimaginable things to him? (not going to mention them, no way!)

What did Mandela do?

Gave employment in his presidential residence and daily food to all his prison guards who had tortured him sometimes daily for 27 years.


By choosing his response to the stimuli.

He responded with love and forgiveness.

This is reminiscent of Jesus Christ on the Cross:

“Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”

When Jesus said, love your enemies, He walked His talk. He did exactly what He taught His disciples.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

And that is the way we find our true passion.

There could be something that you have to do.

In your life.

As one of your plans.

As a necessary goal, an aim, a target.

Perhaps the need of the hour.


Repeat, choose:

To love it!

But I Really Do Love My Job!



But did it always feel this way?

Normally, when we start something new, it is usually tough.

Once we gain expertise —

Especially when we gain recognition from others around us —

Then we love our work —

Regardless of what we are doing!

This finding has been consistent, across multiple research centres, across multiple cultures, and varying work ethics.

It comes down to your choice.

It’s your life.

You can choose.

The power is yours!

Never forget that — and you will not be unhappy.

St. Paul from the Bible, from a prison cell, chained to the wall, wrote these immortal words:

“Always be joyful, then, in the Lord. I repeat: be joyful.”

And that is my fervent prayer for you.

Right now.

Choose to be positive.

About your entire life.

A minor, subtle difference — but this is the difference that counts.


Support My Writing

Support my writing. Medium is the definitive #1 source of articles on everything written on the Internet — the best of the best content on the web. Join through the link below and I get a recurring monthly commission. A sincere thanks to all my wonderful subscribers who help me and support my writing every month. Love you all, each and every single one of you.

Join Medium with my referral link below — (in India, the membership fee is INR 199 per month for you) — a monthly recurring commission will reach me every month (around 2 USD — independent of the country) — and help me continue writing articles just like this one. This will also help you read thousands of expertly curated articles by the best writers on the Internet as of now. Amazing, engaging content.

This is the referral link: https://thomascherickal.medium.com/membership


God bless. Love you all!

Liked the article? You can thank me by buying me a ko-fi every month!




Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store